You must love yourself 100%. We are our own harshest judge. Once we accept ourselves fully, warts and all – we can move forward and let go of the fear. If there is a trait about ourselves we do not like – we can change it of course. The trait will show up again and again, but when you can catch yourself doing what you don’t like eg. Snapping at people, getting angry too quickly… once you become aware of what you’re doing, you can improve on it and the fact that it recurs is just the old momentum which will subside in time.
You can’t please everyone and it is not selfish to please yourself. When you understand and embrace the fact, that you are not here to live up to other people’s expectations, you become a free spirit. You are here to be your unique self. Understand that there’s no point trying to be someone else – because everyone else is taken – you can only be you – a free slot and always available. When you try and please other people and it does not feel good – the irritation in the body is telling you that you have “externalised” your power. For example “what will so and so think of me..?” If you wish to do something, you have to stand in your own truth and then carry on regardless of what others say or think. You will be surprised, that when you practice these techniques how those “others” will not bother you so much.
How you see yourself is “essential” in freeing yourself from the mental chains and a critical mind. Other people’s opinion of you will change, but if you are grounded in your own self confidence it doesn’t matter because your opinion of yourself remains the same. Then you can work towards having solid and unbreakable self-esteem. Where there is no enemy within, the enemy outside cannot hurt you.